Honesty

Sometimes it hurts to be honest. Is that kinda like "feeling the burn" when working out?

So I gave up booze for Lent. After the first couple weeks I barely noticed it, and by the end I was feeling somewhat superior - and getting better rest. My dad, who lives in Massachusetts, and I would joke about it and he would ask me why I would do such a thing.

Around the same time I had been planning with my aunt, with whom my father lives, to get my grandfather's 100-year old christening gown for my son's upcoming baptism. She sent it to me via UPS and it arrived just after Easter.

A day after I got the gown I received another UPS package, also marked from my aunt's house - actually with my uncle's name. �I opened up the package and found this:

Two very fine bottles of whiskey. The Midleton costs about $100 and the Springbank about $50. I love single malt whiskey, so I figured this was a kind of "Lent-breaking" gift. The bottles were already open, but I figured someone in my family was just passing on something they wouldn't drink anyway. They were in their original packaging (not see here) so I considered it thoughtful, and called my uncle to thank him.

"What whiskey?" he said. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Huh. Well, my father has early�Alzheimer's (really), so maybe he sent it and forgot about it. �I talked to him. "Nope. I don't know what you're talking about. I didn't send anything."

Hmm. I asked my aunt. "Nope. And we aren't missing anything, so it's not like your dad grabbed it and sent it."

It's obvious right? My good fortune fading, the truth was just beginning to dawn on me too. �I waited until the next Monday (it was Friday by now) and called the UPS store in my family's Massachusetts town.

Eli from the Medford UPS Store eventually called me back. "Wow. That doesn't happen very often. Do you mind telling me what's in the box?"

I told him.

"Oh wow! Yeah, we've been looking for that! Wow! Lots of people will be glad to see that. Thank goodness." Eli was really getting lathered up. "Man. Thanks for calling us. You could have kept that. What got you to call?"

I mumbled something about karma.

"Well, thanks for calling!"

We discussed logistics, I hung up and looked at the booze.

And to suppose I imagined it to be some sort of sign from God congratulating me for staying off booze for Lent. Now I daydreamed it was a sign that I shouldn't drink at all.

I packed up the fine, fine whiskey and placed it in my�vestibule�for the UPS guy to pick it up.

I wish my honesty was accompanied by a glass of fine, fine whiskey. It would feel better.